I’m an INFJ-Deal with it

Maribel shared her ENTP-ness, so I thought I’d do the same and give you my personal prison that is an INFJ… A brief description:

I –tend to be quiet and reserved. They generally prefer interacting with a few close friends rather than a wide circle of acquaintances, and they expend energy in social situations. N – tend to be more abstract than concrete.

F – tend to value personal considerations above objective criteria.

J – tend to plan their activities and make decisions early. They derive a sense of control through predictability. tumblr_n0erlfUtG41qdodqbo1_500

The good stuff:

Creative

Insightful

Inspiring and Convincing

Decisive

Determined and Passionate

Altruistic

The stuff that could drive you insane:

Sensitive

Extremely Private

Perfectionistic

Always Need to Have a Cause

Can Burn Out Easily

Me at a social gathering:

When plans are canceled:

When I make a mistake and others noticed…my internal self:

My verbal process:

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If I had a kid, I’d share the news like this:

So between being an INFJ and a Scorpio I could be perceived from the outside world as a weird quiet awkward bitch?  If that makes sense…My life, it’s adorable.

What’s your DREAM?!

The older I get, the more I realize how much my “things I want” have changed.  When a person is younger you have these wide-eyed larger than life ideas that you think are so amazing and so attainable.

I thought I’d take a look at my WANTS as a 28 year old, as opposed to 18-ish

Career

18: I’m gonna have one by 23 and be making BANK!  Not sure what it is yet, but I’m gonna be a woman about town with such fucking class.  Drinking mojitos and shit.  Buyin what I want!

28: I’m going to school to be a Marriage and Family Therapist, a draining but solid career.  But right now I’m a grown adult-baby hybrid being supported by even more shitty loans…So career is “in progress.”

Me speaking to life:

Vacation style

18: Let’s rent a beach house and fill it with a billion people I semi-know and par-tee!  I’ve seen a lot of movies so this works out great!

28: Anywhere I can lounge by some sun and have some drinks in silence.  It’s gotta be cheap and preferably with one or 2 other people.  I need peace. Maybe an ice mask?!  I heard Palm Springs has a great senior citizen scene…

Romantic situation

18: A guy who is sensitive, but not too much of a push over.  A total artist but doesn’t even know it.  He is broody and complicated.  He reads but plays the guitar.  He goes to the gym but isn’t a gym rat.  He loves his mom.  He is 6’3″.  He has dark hair.  He is born between the months of August and December.  He can speak 3 languages, etc. Or just Pacey Witter.

28: All you need to have is a job that provides some sort of pay stub, a car, your own place, and a pulse.  And don’t be a liar.

A Friday night

18: A concert where I stand up the entire time, all for the love of music.  Surrounded by tons of people who love the same artists I do.  This is so CITY.

28: Alone in my room with Netflix, a burrito, and an entire family size wine…things are about to get scandalous and real.

 

“What can I get you?”

One of my favorite things to do is sit at a bar for hours at a time and just drink and chat.  I’m not down with “bar hopping” or doing any sort of “crawl.” I love the randomness that life brings without me moving.

Bar interactions are everywhere from charming to annoying as hell.  If you are a white guy telling me how you were with a Puerto Rican girl once and how you know “Latin Women”, I will roll my eyes so hard I’ll lose my sight for a few minutes. (Based on a true story).

As I transplanted from Portland to San Francisco, I noticed a very specific kind of bartender when interacting with brown ladies in Portland. Portland is growing into a hipster hub. I just spent the holiday back home and frequented too many drinking establishments and did some unofficial research.  Therefore I drank for the blog. You’re welcome.

These bartenders are your average “white guy” but with access to the latest “I don’t care” fashions.  How can hipster dudes be so anti anything when they all look like Goodwill’s version of Justin Timberlake’s hair with a full beard?  Throw in a mini-beanie that rivals a yamaka and trunk full of American Spirits, and you’re so at the next MGMT concert.

According to Urban Dictionary, which is where I get all my knowledge (and grad school I guess), it says this about hipsters:

Hipsters reject the culturally-ignorant attitudes of mainstream consumers, and are often be seen wearing vintage and thrift store inspired fashions, tight-fitting jeans, old-school sneakers, and sometimes thick rimmed glasses.

When you’re in an establishment of mostly white folks, you’ll stick out. I stick out, which is great when I’m trying to get a drink.  I swear the bartenders come up quicker because I look all “ethnic.”  They seem confused that I know the words to a song by Architecture in Helsinki but I speak secret Spanish to talk about others to my homegirl. I feel the bartenders get their “cultured” beanies on and try to act all modern and worldly.  Dude, I don’t care.  But a free drink maybe? Cuz my parents crossed 2 borders, sooooo…

Here are some great exchanges I’ve had with hipster bartenders:

Bartender: So where are you from (most famous question of my life)
Me: I’m from Oregon, but my parents are from El Salvador
Bartender: Oh nice!  I love going to Nicaragua to surf, it’s amazing.
*Because that’s the same thing, not 2 different countries or anything*

Bartender: What can I get you?
Me: Can I get a Tecate please?
Bartender: *looks confused* he was taken aback my correct pronunciation
Me: (repeat) Tecate please?
Bartender: Oh ya, TECATE (I think he busted his insides by trying to pronounce it with an accent).  Right on!
*Truth talk, he said right on*

Bartender: Would you like another drink?
Me: Sure, same thing please
Bartender: Whiskey soda with lemon?
Me: Yup
Bartender: Oh that’s a cool bracelet (*I have a bracelet full of Salvadoran flags that I got from El Salvador last year*)
Me: Oh ya, thanks
Bartender: Oh is that Honduras?
Me: No it’s El Salvador
Bartender: Awesome! My best friend is half Guatemalan
Me: That’s nice

These are just a few examples of the sea of interactions I’ve had being “othered” hardcore. But I don’t sweat it too much, I like people trying for my approval and if I can get a free guilt drink in the process…my bank account ain’t mad.

Marb$ & $Cruz: San Francisco Edition

Last week, I visited Stefanie for her b-day celebrations! That’s right, celebrations, with an “s” at the end for the multiple times we did. We were making up for lost time! The last time we were separated this long was when she went to El Salvador. Girlfriend came back with fierce a Wesley Snipes tan in the beginning of January of 2013, but I digress.

Although I was there for her birthday, Stefanie was truly the hostess with the mostest. She had a jam-packed school schedule, and for the first few days, I followed her around like a lost puppy on the USF campus. Even waiting for her was way more fun than being at work and dealing with the rain! Portland, get it together, you weepy bitch. Nobody wants to deal with your rain and cold weather.

Below you will find my list of observations and shenanigans that we got ourselves into:

San Francisco has microclimatesI learned this while I eavesdropping on the bus like a creep.

The “Full House” house has been painted. 

Taken from Marb$ Facebook

This is a slap in the face to America. If you buy the “Full House” house, you owe it to the fans to preserve it. These people knew what they walked into when they forked over the money for this house. Painting this house is like committing domestic terrorism. How rude!

Booze is sold at your local corner market. Oregon will assist people with suicide, but they won’t sell liquor at a convenient store? I don’t understand.

Lots of beards, tattoos, and SF Giants hats on men. According to my calculations, I fell in love exactly 2,238 times.

Lots of beautiful men with basic looking women. Some guys were tens and these ladies were straight up penny pieces! Perhaps they suffer from extreme Stockholm Syndome! The girls with them wore UGG boots, too tight leggings, and an LV bag like it was 2005. It was all so tragic. I’m thinking about starting a charity where I can save all of these dudes.

San Francisco public restrooms do not believe in toilet seat covers. Living in a walkable city is great for your overall health. But more importantly, it serves as a way to build leg muscles for proper hovering. I’m too cute for scabies.

Saying your from Portland, Oregon is actually a good thing. 

Dolores Park. You are beautiful. Thank you for making me forget about the four months of my life as I watched the sunset. I plan on day drinking with you next time.

sunsetOverall, it was a wonderful six days. I did not want to leave. I caught up with Stefanie, ate tons of amazing food, and I enjoyed disconnecting from Portland. It was amazing! Until next time, San Pancho.

Hit me up on Myspace

Once upon a time, I refused to do homework and spent HOURS on Myspace.  Commenting up a storm, adding new Myspace angled bathroom photos, and doing surveys for all my “friends” to read.

This was like the best feeling ever:

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Remember when you talked to someone, and they’re like “I gotta get up early, I’m gonna go to bed.”  Two minutes later you’d go on MySpace (on a COMPUTER mind you…this is pre-apps) and you’d see that liar “online now” for hours.  Well let’s bring back the one fun thing about Myspace memories, an ABC survey.

A – Age: 27

B – Bed size: Queen

C – Chinese Food Dish: Orange chicken?  Or Egg Rolls?  That’s a tough one.  Whatever my hangover is feeling that day…

D – Dentist name: Crentist

E – Early Bird or Night Owl?: NIGHT.  I’m a vampire.

F – Favorite color: Blue.  That sounds so boring.  But it’s true.

G – Gold or Silver: Gold!

H – Height: 5’7″ aka MONSTER in the Salvi world.

I – Ink as in tattoo’s you have: I have 2

J – Job title: Executive Assistant (aka prisoner, aka adult babysitter, aka punching bag)

K – Kitchen Meal or Restaurant?: I love a great ambiance of a restaurant, plus I can’t cook.

L – Living arrangements: Living with domestic life-partner in our Jarrett Mansion (a duplex with sass and charm, but usually messy)

M – Month of birth: No shave November

#teamscorpio but I’m still crazy

N – Nicknames: Scruz, Stef, Tefi, Pan (my mom is weird), hmmm probably more.

O – On time or late: I’m always late.  I’m not 5 minutes away.

P – Pet Peeve: Liars and promise breakers (which I’m both these things)

Q – Quote from a movie: I quote too many, it’s half of my daily speak.

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I say this a lot.

R – Right or left handed: I’m right handed, but I looooooooove left handed dudes.  I see you Barak Obama signing away…

S – Siblings: 2 sisters and 1 bro

T – Time you wake up: Monday through Friday I TRY to wake up at 7ish.  I usually do the freak out jump out of bed thing around 7:30ish.

U – Urgent thing on your to do list: Too much at work, and I need to check my brakes on my car…That noise is getting outta control and stopped being cute.

V – Vegetable you dislike: So where are we with Tomatoes?  They are fruits?  But they’re disgusting and I’ll never eat them!

W – Wishing for: A lottery win and one way ticket outta here!

X – X-rays you’ve had: My right hand, I broke my pinky in 4th grade trying to get my WNBA on during recess.  I wore Filas, cuz Grant Hill wore Filas.

Y – Yummy food you make: I shove greek yogurt and granola together every day, sooooo catch me on the food network soon “The Lazy Girl Menu.”

Z – Zoo Favorite: LIONS and BEARS!

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Aging like a fine wine…

In the last couple of years, I’ve noticed that I’m losing a bit of touch with the younger generation after me.  I think I’ve been in denial about this though, I haven’t wanted to admit that I’m getting older.  My nephew (5 years old) can navigate a cellphone better than I can, so I should just give up.

Me seeing my young soul move into OLD territory:

Things I just don’t “get”:

  • How to use Twitter
  • Why do you and your friends have to have 58 comments on a status update.  You can text each other.
  • Justin Bieber (this includes: music, style, terms like “swaggy”)
  • The AMOUNTS of makeup young girls put on at Sephora while they are “Mall-Rat-ing”–if your dad could see you…
  • Having headphones on when you’re with your friends
  • I haven’t stopped saying Facebook Wall as oppose to Timeline
  • I have to Google how to change my Facebook settings
  • I can’t use a Samsung Galaxy 3S at all.  This is my mom’s new phone and she was appalled I couldn’t figure out how to use it!
  • The CW or ABC Family…anything
  • Cyberbullying
  • Flo-Rida songs
  • I get really confused using Microsoft Office 2010
  • Kids today don’t know about TGIF

I’m not saying “I’m too grown therefore I’m better at life!!!”  I’m just saying when I see “youths” out and about or see online “buzz”, I realize how detached I am from that world.  Yes, I’m pushing 30.  I shall own that, I shall reference Full House on the daily and be ok about it.