Talk the talk, boo. We had something similar on I Heart Shiny Things, but of course, that was one million years ago. If you want to sit down with us over nachos and wine, you have to be down with the lingo. It’s still a lot of pop culture references mixed with English and Spanish. You will also see old words we have posted, deal with it.
Power Puerca (Noun): To nourish thyself with food until the point of asking God for forgiveness. *Puerca means pig in Spanish. Some may be familiar with the term already. $Cruz and I used to have what we called, “Power Puerca Fridays” – which meant that we could eat WHATEVER we wanted. It’s a better and less basic way of saying, “OMG Becky, it’s my cheat day.” No, Becky, I am going to eat like a pig on steriods, so get out of my way before I eat your face off.
How to use in a sentence: “I’m going to be a power puerca when we go eat sushi. I don’t give a fuck.”
Party Fat Ass (Noun): To nourish thyself with food during a social gathering. I remember when this term was invented. It was New Year’s Eve and we were at a house party. A friend and I were being judged for eating food instead of drinking. In my defense, eating before drinking helped me ring in and remember the New Year. I created a maxi pad of food in my stomach for my booze to be absorbed. It’s called being, “responsible.”
How to use in a sentence: “Oh my god, I went to this networking thing after work. I couldn’t stop eating these salmon cake things. I was being a total party fat ass.”
MC Hammer (Noun or Verb, mostly Verb): To blow thy money away. We all know MC Hammer was 2 Legit 2 Quit. However, he was not 2 Legit with his finances. I am pretty frugal most of the time, but every once in a while, I like to be a big spender. Because any purchase over $50 makes me feel like I’m going to go bankrupt (eff you Sallie Mae), the term MC Hammer seemed fitting.
How to use in a sentence: “I know you just got your tax return. Please don’t MC Hammer it away.”
Chones (Noun – rhymes with “bones”): Thy undergarments. *Derived from the Spanish slang term, “chonis”, which is underwear) I don’t remember the backstory behind chones. We just butchered it for fun.
How to use in a sentence: “How can you forget to pack underwear? So you’re only working with what you have on right now? It’s like your playing game of chones.”
Monkey Butt (Adjective for humor): To describe a person’s basic, lackluster, uninspired humor. One of my old co-workers was trying to play a prank on my supervisor. He wanted to take magnets and spell, “you smell like a monkey’s butt.” I was appalled at how not funny he was and told him, “That’s not even remotely funny, say something about his mother.” Ever since then, Stefanie and I have used the term to describe unfunny people: Family Guy lovers, Dane Cook fans, and people who enjoy America’s Funniest Home Videos – especially the non-Bob Saget era.
How to use in a sentence: “So this guy and I have been texting. I can’t do it anymore. He’s so monkey butt with his jokes.”
Napkin-Twisting (verb): The reaction and anxiety one gets when witnessing someone do something cringe-worthy. Usually when watching someone make an ass out of themselves. I’m pretty sure Stefanie came up with this one. If you’ve ever experienced the feeling of crawling out of your skin as you watch friends and family make fools of themselves, usually through some sort of ‘artistic medium’, then you know what napkin-twisting is.
How to use in a sentence: “oh my god, he made us sit there as he read his poetry out loud. I was internally napkin-twisting the whole time.”
UNTIL NEXT TIME! 🙂