Las Vegas Happened

Last year, we took a ladies trip to Vegas with six gal pals. We had so much fun, we decided to do it again! Vegas 2012: I packed at least four different “going-out” outfits, three pairs of heels, and an obscenely padded bra that made me look like I had an ass on my chest. I was flipping my hair in the wind, dancing until I was glistening (not sweating, glistening), and finding confetti IN my dress the next day. Of course, I always have an awkward air to my personality, but I at least thought I was kind of hip and happening. This picture below sums up Vegas 2012 for me: 

Flash forward to 2013: I finally felt my age. I always heard that your body starts to betray you around your late-twenties. This Vegas trip was like taking a long look in the mirror. Aging is still hard for me in the physical sense, but I was welcoming of the mental effects. I owned it. Three of us ended up going on this trip, and it was like The Golden Girls were let loose on the strip. Our main concerns during this trip: Eating, Drinking, and Tanning. This list is also in accurate numerical order. image-4

People don’t give a fuck in Vegas. They just don’t. You want to walk-around with a tank top that says, “The Suns Out, Guns Out” with the bros? Carry your McDonald’s to-go bag freely with no judgement?  Drink before noon on the street? This is the city for you. The whole, “fuck it, I’m in Vegas” attitude makes it extra fun to people watch…and silently judge. While I was turning crispy brown by the pool, here is some behavior I noticed:

  • The tattoo choices (and mistakes) people make
  • Drunk couples in the pool get rated-R and it makes me sick
  • Guys with foreign accents get all the tail, and they are super lame
  • Fedoras still make people look like idiots, even more so in board shorts.
  • Drunk girls will chest bump to get the attention of the dudes with the accents.
  • I see no difference between ravers from the Electric Daisy Carnival and the Insane Clown Posse juggalos.

While we were at the hotel lounge one night, we did get picked up by a pack of dudes–they were fabulous, fierce, and sassy. This just added to our “Golden Girls in Vegas” flair. They kept feeding us compliments the whole night, and I LIVE for gay approval (I still got it!) They loved us so much, they invited us over to their hotel room to chit-chat and drink some more. After we sat down, they offered us fancy expensive vodkas. One of them even upside-down twerked for us like a stripper:

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Vegas provided me with a good tanning-base, an escape from Portland rain, and lots of bellyaches from food and laughs! I think Vegas 2013 can be summed up in this picture, taken by Elda, our other lady friend on this trip:

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Las Vegas stands for freedom. AMERICA!!!!!!

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