Then & Now

My last post got me nostalgic.  I can’t believe how old I am sometimes.  When I say my age out loud, I’m like “when did that happen?!”  I just turned 27.5 last Friday.  So in celebration I drank til I could not function anymore.  Celebration or sadness?  Hmm whatever.

27.5 years old…WHAT?!??!

2013 marks the 9th year of me being in Portland.  9 YEARS.  That’s a 4th grader.  I remember 4th grade, we watched the OJ Simpson verdict in class.  I’ve grown to really love this city…it feels more like home than my actual hometown (Roseburg where you at?!?).  But Portland becomes small over time.  I’ve called it such a horrible thing as Roseburg #2.  By the time I was a senior in high school I was just so ready to leave and go to the BIG CITY.  As a child, I only knew Portland as the place we’d go to see the immigration lawyer or immigration hearings.  It was a scary place in general for me.  So as I was ready to pick my college of choice, I knew I had to go to Portland.  Make that city mean something different to me, also a place where they had Starbucks!

I’ve been having that “small town” anxious feeling the last year or two.  My future isn’t set here, I’ve outgrown this place.  I know this place like the back of my hand, I run into someone I recognize all the time, some people I DO NOT want to run into.   I always say that I lost that sparkle in my eyes; that”wide eyed big city livin” charm I used to have as a youngin.  I need to channel that feeling more.  I need to appreciate that I didn’t stay in my 20,000 people town.

So let’s take a look back at Stefanie 2004-2005 to Stefanie 2012-2013.  LEGGO:

Let me preface this era in my life.  Throughout high school I actively tried to be “different,” rejecting my default settings.  So I was “trying” during this era of my life.

Age: 18/19 (JUST MOVED TO DA CITY!)

Music Favs: The Strokes, Tegan and Sara, being about that “alternative music lifestyle”.  I was at a show once or twice a week.  The Crystal Ballroom, Roseland, Wonder Ballroom, I thought I was soooooo cool in my chucks in the all ages area.  Also, strategically made a playlist on my Myspace to show you how indie I was.

TV Favs: I have no idea what I watched.  I think I watched Smallville a lot.  And I wouldn’t go out until I watched SNL.

Coffee drink: I didn’t drink coffee until I tried to make a new friend in one of my freshman classes and she suggested coffee.  Up until that point I only drank those coffees that were basically birthday cakes.  I ordered a cappuccino because I heard that on TV. I wanted to throw up in my mouth the minute I took a sip.  But this is the city!  I gotta look cool.

Fashion: Jeans, t-shirts, hoodies, chucks (I had an array of colors).  I barely wore jewelry, tiny earrings if any at all.

Hair/Makeup Favs: What?  I didn’t do that.  I had my super curly hair for days and my makeup consisted of mascara…and that’s about it.

Car: I didn’t have one…I lived downtown and got lost on a bus a few times.

How’d you party tho: I went to many random parties with all the friends I met at shows or in class (mostly white).  I drank loads of PBR in tiny studios.  I’d walk home alone because people got white boy wasted and left me.  But this was all in an effort to be more “open.”

School activities: I tried to join a couple of organizations with other brown people.  I never had brown friends before so this was a big deal.  I entered their meetings and/or offices and was welcomed with death stares and eye rolls.  So I was done with that…

Portland Homeless moment: I was waiting for a bus in SE, and I heard weird “struggle” noises and I turned to my right and a dude was shitting into a plastic bag.  I’m a child from Roseburg and I thought I was going to die.

Food: There was a Mexican spot right on campus, Cha Cha Cha.  By the time my freshman year was done, Mauricio my homie, always said “Hola Cruz!  Los nachos?!?”  Yes homie, the nachos.

—INSERT 9 YEARS HERE—

Age: 26/27 (How I look each day doing the same shit)

Music Favs: A diet of E-40, Tupac, Dr. Dre, super gross misogynistic jams and anything 90s R&B

TV Favs: I watch way too much reality TV and Netflix

Coffee drink: Now if I don’t have coffee, I get a horrible headache right above my eyes.  I’ll drink coffee with regular cream at work.  Or if I’m out to by one, a vanilla latte.

Fashion: Dresses and skirts for days.  Easy to wear.  I don’t really like wearing pants, I feel manish.  I wear ridiculously large earrings to work or play, don’t matter!

Hair/Makeup favs: I try to put myself together with makeup each day to look alive.  My eyes need help because I look high if I don’t.  But fill your eyebrows in!  This is great for my face.

Car: I have Nissan Sentra, 2005, my mom’s ex car I bought from her.  It has a cleft lip since I slammed it in a wall during a post work anger-fest.  But it gets me around!

How’d you party tho: At this point in my life, I will drink until I am dragged home.  I will drink and keep drinking and even buy you drinks at the bar.  You’ll say you’re done, I will buy you one more.  Have fun with me. I drink sitting down and will down vodka and whiskey.  You all want to get some fries?

School activities: I don’t do that anymore.

Portland Homeless moment: Working downtown this happens on the daily, interaction with homeless folk. Nothing new.  Haven’t seen such a great shitting situation after my first experience.

Food: Nachos til I D-I-E!  I like to get my nacho game on at any establishment that offers them.  I’m kind of a nacho foodie now.  #dealwithit

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One thought on “Then & Now

  1. Haha, it’s like your writing about me last 9 years. I feel like I’ve awkwardly blossomed into a reluctant female: one who cares less and more simultaneously. Nacho win.

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