What Happens When You Get Laid-Off/Quit Your Job?

Most of my inner circle is aware of my current situation: I was laid-off from my job, was offered to stay on twice, and I declined both times.

I was working on a project for a non-profit that was to end May 31st. I had thought about leaving anyway, but I had no plans. I’m kind of a chicken and the thought of giving up stability seemed too risky. Health insurance is always cool too, even if the plan isn’t amazing.  I was told that there was nothing for me after May 31st, and that effective after that date, I would no longer be an employee. I couldn’t feel my legs, and I became panicked. I had thrown out these “I want to quit my job” vibes out into the universe, and the universe was like: “Here you go, bitch. I’m tired of your shit. I hope you’re a good swimmer.”

 

The first thing I did was tell the people closest to me. Some heard me cry, and some let me say things out loud so I could sort out my thoughts. I appreciate this very much. I didn’t know what to do. I felt a multitude of emotions, one of them being fear of the unknown and my future. Lately I had been feeling like I wasn’t doing much with my life. I live in a city where it rains almost everyday, working in a stressful environment, and my health has started to deteriorate. My hair has fallen out at a rapid rate, and my body is achy all the time. This can’t be the reason I went to college, and this can’t be the reason my parents came to this country; for their daughter to be so unhappy. As you can see, I live in my head.

After a day or two, I began to feel extremely hopeful. I had co-workers tell me that they were happy when they collected unemployment. That was the time when they took care of themselves and were healthiest. I began to look forward to all of that. A week or so went by after I heard the news of being laid off, and I was offered to stay on for three more months. I thought about it long and hard, but ultimately I came to the conclusion that I didn’t want to work. I am so exhausted. I’m not sure what it means to be successful and happy, but I want that. I want to stand still and do nothing so I can gather my thoughts.

Another week went by, and I was offered to stay on another year. I still said no. I’m a very logical person, but my gut tells me I’m doing the right thing. I felt if I had said yes, this would have been me eventually:

Right now is the perfect time to focus on myself and what I want for my life. I’m not sure where I am headed, but I know the 9-5 work day doesn’t make me happy right now. I was just admitted as a post-bac student, so I am looking forward to learning again. I do love to learn. Homework hella sucks, but learning about things I find important makes my heart sing. I may not have health insurance, but if I’m feeling positive, this should be enough right? I’m not a doctor, but I’m pretty sure webMD says something along those lines. Okay, I’m  paraphrasing a bit, just go with it. Below is a list of things that I would like to work on after May 31st:

  • be a tia to my sobrina, Celia
  • keep up with friends
  • more yoga
  • more hula hoops
  • more reading
  • more cooking gluten-free
  • learning a legit mexican rice recipe
  • learn more in general
  • more crafts
  • more blogging

We will see how this goes over the next few months. Wish me luck!

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