Would I Be My Own Friend?

The other day I jokingly complained  to someone that there is no such thing as a match.com for friendships. As you get older, friendships are the most difficult relationships to spark and upkeep. Courting an individual without the promise of sexy time or romance is hard. How do you convince a person that you have the qualities that say, “I’m a ride or die. Call me in the middle of the night, I’m here for you. I will be Thelma, you be Louise?”

I feel this that asking myself this question is necessary. Analyzing my strengths and weaknesses will help me be the best possible friend. All relationships are transaction based: What do you give to your relationships? What do you take? Are you toxic? Do you smother people? Are you a doormat? Sorry, I’m sounding like a Cosmo quiz, but this is important! Below is a list things awesome things I bring to friendship:

  • Humor- I don’t mean to toot my own horn, but toot toot. I prefer comedies, I like to laugh a lot, and I make pretty good impressions. My impressions have range too since my voice can do weird things. The more I try to sell this humor thing, the more I feel like Joey from Full House… and I’m not sure that’s a good thing. 

  • Loyalty- You tell me who wronged you, who called you fat, who called you a bitch, and I will conjure up the biggest bitchface I can muster–you have my word. A friend of mine is an extension of me. You feel disrespected? I feel disrespected. 

  • Buckle under peer-pressure – I do buckle under peer-presssure, it’s true. You want to drink on a work night? Let’s do this. I do draw the line when someone mentions meth. I’m a lady.
  • Reality Television- I’m down for embarking on some sort of marathon on shows about cake-making or the toddler beauty pageants.
  • Advice-Giving– I feel that sometimes I have my Dr. Phil moments.
  • Astrology- Give me your date, time, and location of birth, and I can make magic happen. I also help friends figure out if they are romantically compatible with dudes/ladies. I also remind you to check your monthly astrological forecast on the first of the month.
  • Style/Fashion- I’m no TIm Gunn, but I feel that I have a discerning eye. Style and Fashion is subjective and to each their own, but that’s kind of my shit. 
  • I’ll Stop You From Talking to Ugly Guys– Drinking not only impairs your ability to drive, it also messes with your perception of peoples physical beauty. I am the best goalie ever. I keep it real and will physically take you by the arm and remove you from a conversation with a guys that have “mistake” and “regret” written all over. Girl, just don’t. 
  • Personal Cheerleader- If you say you want to go to the moon and back, I’ll believe in you. I like to know peoples hopes, dreams, and wishes because I believe in the unattainable. Everything is possible.
  • Romance Champion– I’m not exactly a romantic. I root for other people’s romantic stuff, not my own. I’m a realist when it comes to my personal life,  but The Notebook gets me every fucking time. I like listening to other people’s love stories. One time, the barista that usually sells my coffee rode the bus with me. He told me how he met his girlfriend and felt she was “the one.” I cried little tears of happiness for him. No really, a couple of tears came out. I’ll listen to your story and help you plan your wedding. I’m really good with finding the right wedding dress and figuring out themes for hypothetical weddings.

  • Chatty/Social- Sometimes I can be a bit shy, but after I have overcome that obstacle, I’m pretty chatty. I am hyper curious about people and I ask a lot of questions. We will build rapport in no time. If alcohol is involved, I’ll promise to make you my emergency contact at the hospital–even if it is our first time meeting. That’s how much I believe in “us” as friends. 

I think I’m kind of awesome for the most part. Yes, I have my flaws, but overall, I feel that I would be my own friend. I only hope good things and wish for the best if I call you my friend. Over the years, I have learned that friendships are where it’s at. I’m trying harder to be a better person to keep in touch with, but unfortunately I am  the “out of sight out of mind” type of person. Not because I don’t care, but because I get wrapped up in my own world and day-to-day. This is something I am actively working on. You don’t want to be old one day and realize that no one cares about you. A lot of people put emphasis on their romantic partnerships, but if this person leaves you, you have no one. Don’t let your boo thang be your everythang. Who will take you to the airport after your divorce? Who will take you to the hospital if you feel that you are dying, but it turns out to be intense heart burn from eating really good spicy food? My point is: nurture all relationships equally.

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