Evolution Of Drinking

I’ve hit a point in my life where drinking is still cool, just now done in a no nonsense type of way. Channeling more of a Don Draper as opposed to Snooki in her prime (Jersey Shore Season 1-2ish).  In the pre-21 years, one thinks you’re so BADASS for drinking.  Whipping up margaritas with parent’s booze was so taboo and dangerous.  I entered college and got on that PBR shit because I was heavy into concert going and made friends with a sea of white hipsters.  Or my other instances when I drank Smirnoff Ice shit, because I’m a lady.  I thought that was so “grown.”  I would get the spinnies and a case of the tummy pains, but had to keep up with my “crews.”  Parties you drink what is there, when you take free drinks one cannot be picky.  You chug anything that is neon in color, has umbrellas, even shit that is set on fire, just go with it.

My early 20’s were full of drinking everything and anything, I had one mission each time: to get hammered on a budget.  College hurt my brain and soul, therefore I self medicated with heavy doses of AMFs.  Ya, that was my go to drink.  “Clubbing” was something I did, which now that I reflect on that…I want to cry. These are very “shake my head” kind of memories.

As I’ve entered my later later later 20’s, I have no desire to wear heels, I fall even when wearing flats.  I have no desire to DANCE.  I should never be allowed to do that.  You know that if I suggest we go dancing…I’m like 6 drinks in.  I don’t want to stand in line to get in anywhere.  I want to arrive early! I live in OREGON so rainy nights in line were so horrible.  Do not give me anything called “sex on the beach” or a “naughty girl.”  That’s like eating a fistful of Starburst.  I won’t drink out of crazy spiral glasses that rival Red Robin’s “BAR” drink glasses.

My ultimate way of raging now can be summed up in 3 scenarios:

  1. Going to a bar, getting schwilly (drunk) on vodka tonics or whiskey sodas, talking with randoms and staying posted.  Using the buddy system for bathroom breaks, I stay they go and vice versa, I want to keep our spot.
  2. Drinking at home (which our home now is equipped with a booze section, including a bartender doll named Margarita), getting schwilly on whatever I’m feeling that day, usually at this point: vodka, gin, or whiskey.
  3. Drinking on a balcony or deck in nice weather overlooking some sort of view, drinking all day into the night…getting schwilly.  All while listening to a heavy rotation of Dr. Dre Pandora.

Me enjoying the epic view in a hotel in Seattle … SIMPLICITY at it’s finest.
photo (1)

Give me balconies, give me drinking freedom, that is world peace in my life.  I just want to be a regal old man.



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